[Asgard] IC Contact ♛ (OLD)

[key_illusion]

[All you can hear is the sound of static.]

Comments

[key_illusion]

...So it was to punish yourself? To make amends for that?

[wasthemaster]

Can you keep a secret?

[key_illusion]

I don't exactly like to hand out information, do I? Of course I can.

[wasthemaster]

[...sigh. He hasn't bother disclosing this particular bit of information, but something about ??? is making him feel a little safer than usual, safe enough to disclose this secret.] I'm sure you noticed I have full control of my dreams, right? Lucid dreaming.

[key_illusion]

[Even ???'s a little surprised that Draco's actually going to tell him something confidential, but today's a weird day. So he doesn't let it show, and nods before moving towards the nearest create in the alleyway to take a seat.]

Yeah, I remember.

[wasthemaster]

Sometimes I like to find as many creative ways to kill myself in my dreams as I can. [He opts for leaning against the wall. It's vastly uncomfortable to talk about, but hey, it is a weird day.]

[key_illusion]

[That sort of admission makes ??? go quiet, his expression remaining rather calm as he goes over Draco's words.]

Does it help you?

[That's something he does not have too much experience with considering dreams are still rather foreign to him.]

[wasthemaster]

Still alive in the real world, aren't I? [Notlookingnotlookingnotlooking.] It's just...sometimes. Not every night.

[key_illusion]

Yeah, but... [He's concerned. It's almost like how he constantly reviews the painful memories, both Roxas' and his own. But that's a flaw (or a perfection?) in his programming and not meant to create personal relief.]

Do you want to stop?

[wasthemaster]

...it's sort of like...like roleplaying. In my dreams, I can act out any sort of story I want without consequence and it's sort of therapeutic in a way. [Draco that is the opposite of therapeutic.] Besides, I've watched people actually die. I've tortured enough people that I may as well join them.

[key_illusion]

[Now, ??? shakes his head. Somehow, it's not strange to hear what Draco's done. He's done some horrible things in Asgard too.]

It's bad that you've done something like that. Torturing others...is not easily forgivable or at all.

But thinking along the lines that you might as well be dead for what you've done isn't right either. If you regret the choices you've made, you should approach it differently. Hurting yourself for it is probably just as bad as running away from your problems. [He shrugs.] But that doesn't mean it's not a comfortable solution in comparison.

[wasthemaster]

Half the time I wonder if it'd be easier to end it and bail before the war's over. I don't exactly have a way to approach the regret head on without being murdered. If I'm going to die, I want it to be by my own hands. [He almost let Potter get away with it, but then Snape arrived and saved him. But still, he just shrugs casually.]

Do me a favor and don't tell Jade. I'm trying to uphold the illusion that I'm quasi-normal.

[key_illusion]

...It's okay, I won't. She could barely handle the idea of me disappearing back in my world, and there wouldn't be any incentive for me to tell her.

[But he sighs while folding his arms.]

But just so you know, I'm going to stop you if you try to destroy yourself here.

[wasthemaster]

I'm already kind of a shitty boyfriend, I don't need that added to it. Thanks though.

[But he shrugs.] Very funny. You make it sound as though it's something that's stoppable. Trust me, Sunny, I don't plan on completely destroying myself. [Just letting himself get the crap beaten out of him by girls. At least the last of his bruises are practically faded away.]

[key_illusion]

[Welp, there's that.] I figured you two would get together at some point.

There's a difference between trying to break yourself and trying to destroy yourself. But hey-- [He rises up from his seat.] I think there may be a lot of people suffering in Asgard. Wouldn't that be the best for the gods, having people like that?

[wasthemaster]

...yeah. [He actually looks sort of sheepish, sort of pleased.] She doesn't really want to go around telling everyone though, obviously. I can't blame her.

What, having suicidal people? I suppose...it is some show of emotion.

[key_illusion]

Because she has a weird track history of romantic interests? [AT LEAST THAT'S HOW HE SEES IT.]

You've been hurting, haven't you? Feeling emotional pain is still a feeling. Regret and everything else still counts.

[wasthemaster]

Something like that. She doesn't want word getting back to certain people.

I'm going to control it all myself. I'm not letting the gods prosper on my thoughts this time.

[key_illusion]

Hah, I can imagine... [But he's moving towards Draco now, only to reach out and give a little flick to his forehead.]

You know, even if you don't want to help the gods, you have friends who will want to help you.

[wasthemaster]

[There's a sound of protest with the forehead flick, jerking his head back a bit to stare at him.]

Why do you think I keep most of this under wraps?

[key_illusion]

Yeah, I get that. But they're still there, if you do decide you need help. [And in ???'s mind, Draco could probably benefit more than he could ever.]

[wasthemaster]

It'll be fine. [He just shakes his head.] I've been doing everything on my own for the last seventeen years.

[key_illusion]

Jade won't like to hear that. Although, I get what you mean. It's hard to rely on someone else.

[Gosh, Draco, way do you have the same issues as he does?]

[wasthemaster]

There's a lot of things about me I doubt Jade would like to hear. That's why I'm not going to tell her. Honestly? If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. Even now I'm barely teaching Euri the basics of the potions for her to help at the apothecary. I trust her and everything, but it's much easier for me to rely on myself.

[Okay but that doesn't explain why you are practically glued to ???'s side today, dude.]

[key_illusion]

Maybe that's just how we are. [Yes, 'we'.] I may have problems too, but I'd rather achieve something by myself. I'd rather take care of myself on my own too.

Heh, do you think it's a trust issue? I don't like people who care about me getting upset either.